Notable Quote

"I'm such a good third wheel I'm practically a sidecar."

(Yours truly)

A Psalm on being Single

I was just going through some of my old songwriting notes from past years, and came across this short piece I must've written a long time ago.  There are very few if any editing marks on it, and it was written in pen so either this is a final draft I rewrote (unlikely, since I don't have any other copies) or it just came to me like this.


After reading over it this evening a couple times I really felt like posting it, so just before I check out for the night I've booted up my computer to share this little bit of my life.  I hope you all enjoy it.

Words like worms wriggle through my mind,
No sense, no rhythm, no rhyme.
Only feelings none could express,
A meaning so deep only God could confess.

A prayer like leaven rises within
A hope of heaven, and a fear of sin.
Glimmers of beauty and snatches of starlight
My mind is melancholy through lonely night.

Visions of valiance, high noble deeds
Shining white horses, great gallant steeds.

Some times I cry, others I laugh.
I wonder in amazement
I feel so simple, so lost inside;
Yet somehow everything turns aright

It haunts me like tantalus' curse --
I reach out, and yet hold back
I yearn for comfort, but lack courage
I seek companionship and still am shy

As if it were a knot, my life is strung
Every thread a life which through mine has come
All tied in, no root unrelated
So much that I feel dissipated.

Notable Quote

"I want the brownie bladder blizzard."

(yours truly, unfortunately)

The joys of life

Last night when I got to my car the remote didn't unlock the door.  So I unlocked it with the key.  When I turned the key in the ignition, nothing happened.  Literally nothing, no lights came on, no needles fluttered, and the engine might as well have not been there.  The Pearl was dead in the water, so to speak.

Thus begin my adventures for the week so far.  I pushed the button on the wall and called up security, and they dispatched a truck to come jump my car.  I was planning to go to the temple with friends, but wasn't sure if the car would start again.  After driving home, showering (we had been playing basketball after work) and changing my faith was rewarded when the engine sputtered to life without issue.  After the temple it started for a second time on it's own; I decided to tempt fate and stopped to fill my empty tank, and it started on its own power for a third time at the gas station on the way home.

Once home last night I got my things together so that this morning all I had to do was roll out of bed and shave, then I started the three mile bike ride to avoid the construction on my street to get to work.  Once at work I logged my ride as a workout, then used the showers at the fitness center to clean up and get dressed for work.

Once ready I walked upstairs to the cafeteria across from my work area and ordered an omlette for breakfast and bought a minute maid orange juice to reward myself.  I feel like He-man today.

Texas.

It just happens to be my new home.

The second largest state in the union both by geography and population (but let's be honest, it's the biggest truly inhabited state in the union) with a total of 268,601 square miles and 20,851,820 inhabitants as of 2000 (second only to California, but probably not for too much longer).  Two presidents (Eisenhower and LBJ) were born here.  The state motto is "Friendship," stemming from the original tribes of eastern Texas who called their collective nation "Tejas" meaning "those who are friends."

Dinosaurs that have been found in Texas include Acrocanthosaurus, Alamosaurus (no joke!), Brontopodus, Camptosaurus, Coelophysis, Deinonychus (my favorite), Dimetridon, Edmontosaurus, Hypsilophodon, Iguanodon, Kritosaurus, Megatherium, Orinthomimus, Panoplosaurus, Pawpawsaurus, Pluerocoelus (this is the state dinosaur), Protohadros byrdi, Quetzalcoatlus, Shuvosaurus, Stegoceras, Technosaurus (the nerdy species), Tenontosaurus, Texascetes (even dinosaurs had pride in this place), Torosaurus, and of course Tyrannosaurus Rex.

The state animals are the mockingbird, the Texas longhorn, Armadillo, free-tailed bat, monarch butterfly, Texas horned lizard, and the Guadalupe bass.  The state shell is the lightning whelk.  The state flowers and plants are the bluebonnet, prickly pear cactus, pecan tree, and chinese crepe myrtle.  The state fruit is the grapefruit, the vegetable is the onion.  The state fiber is cotton (which I am proudly wearing at this moment; probably you, too).  The state grass is sideoats grama.  The state stone is petrified palmwood and the state gem is the Texas blue topaz.

San Antonio itself was named after the Portuguese Saint Anthony by Spanish explorers (must have been before nationalism?) in 1691 and served as the capital city of Texas until sometime after the Mexican-American war.  There are nine different sister cities to San Antonio, including two in Spain, two in Mexico, one in India, one in Japan, one in Taiwan, one in South Korea and one in Israel.  One city in Germany is listed as an alliance city, but I'm not sure how the Germans could help San Antonio very well in the event that we needed an ally.

There are four military bases inside San Antonio, and one just outside the city (although with its aggressive annexation policies, it may one day be inside the city as well).  About three-fourths of the city's area has been annexed since 1960.  In effect there are no real suburbs, as any that did exist are now completely enveloped by the city limits and act as little island townships within the city.  There are over 100,000 students and 31 higher-education facilities in the San Antonio area.  San Antonio also boasts the most inexpensive public transit systems in the nation.

United Services Automobile Association (USAA) was founded in 1922 by military officers who were unable to procure insurance due to the perception that they were high risk.  The company was one of the pioneers of direct marketing from the start, selling insurance directly to customers instead of working through agents.  Headquartered in San Antonio, USAA operates five other offices in Phoenix, Tampa, Norfolk, Colorado Springs and Frankfurt.  The main campus occupies 286 acres of a former horse farm with one of the largest single-occupancy buildings in the USA, rivaling the Willis Tower and the Pentagon.  Technically the insurance arm of USAA is not a corporation, but rather an inter-insurance exchange, which allows it operate differently than almost any other Fortune 500 firm at Wall street.  Also by working on this basis recently USAA lobbyists were able to push through an amendment to the Volker rule that allows the company to continue its unique operations.  Also because of their unique member owned organization, the company returns unused profits to the insureds at year end, similar to dividends for stockholders.

Isn't it great what you can learn from the internet?

I have problems with authority

Apparently I have too much respect for it.

This last week I was in San Francisco for the Google IO developers' conference at the Moscone Center West.  It was tons of fun, super nerdy and pretty much everything I hoped it would be; but that's a different story.

Instead, today's look into the life of B-Rob comes from his voyage out to San Francisco.  You see, instead of fly (boring!) and then have to find my way around the peninsula relying on other people for transport and so on, I decided to drive.  This last Monday I was chugging along through the Reno Nevada area on the phone with Mom and Dad, when suddenly I noticed a police marked SUV hovering around me.  Naturally he started making me nervous.

To make a long story short, he pulled me over for "following too closely, changing lanes without using a turn signal, and weaving within my lane."  He also mentioned that he didn't get me on radar, but had a feeling I was going too fast.  Good thing they can't give out tickets based on their feelings.  He said he was going to let me off with a warning this time (third time in my life I've been pulled over, and I still haven't been ticketed).

He couldn't get over the fact that I was nervous for some reason, though.  I suppose I look like suspicious when I don't shave or something.  He wanted to ask some more questions, and so I obliged.  The conversation went something like this:

"Why are you going to San Francisco?"
"I'm going to a developers' conference for google."
"Where will you be staying?"
"With my cousins in San Jose."
"Are you carrying anything for anyone?"
"Well, yes...I guess I am, I am helping a friend of mine that is attending the conference move some stuff because he's starting a job in Sacramento and didn't have room in his car for it."
"Do you have anything illegal in your car?"
"No, (of course not, I think, I'm a mormon boy).  "You can search it if you really want."
"Are you volunteering?"
If you're asking, yes.  "If you want."

Then he handed me a form to sign, and I started filling it out right there.  "Did you read it?"  Why do I care?  I didn't do anything wrong.  "Oh, ok, well let's see...looks good."  Signed.  Then he made me stand a good 50 feet away while he went through my trunk and pulled out all my friend's baggage, hangers, clothing, and other odds and ends.  After about five minutes he seemed satisfied and told me not to be so nervous, that he thought I looked like I should be in trouble.  I told him I'd probably take a break there in Reno for a bit, get some gas, then head back out onto the road.

So ends my latest encounter with law enforcement.  I'm not sure what to take away from the experience, honestly.  Am I not supposed to be scared of being pulled over?  I guess I have too much of a criminal look; hopefully I never get framed.

There's a new guy at work now.

He's here to replace me, since today is my last day at work here in Provo.  Based on the following chat from yesterday, I think he'll do fine:

Conversation with Drew - 257 on 5/13/2010 3:41:05 PM:
(3:41:07 PM) Me: hi dres
(3:41:10 PM)  Me: *drew
(3:41:10 PM)  Drew: dres?
(3:41:12 PM) Drew: Gotcha
(3:41:15 PM) Drew: I am so offended
(3:41:20 PM)  Me: fine, I quite
(3:41:22 PM)  Me: *quit
(3:41:32 PM) Drew: You can't quit...
(3:41:34 PM) Drew: YOU'RE FIRED
(3:41:43 PM)  Me: you don't have that authority
(3:41:48 PM)  Me: ...yet
(3:41:51 PM) Drew: Brian asked me to tell you
(3:42:01 PM)  Me: hey, just fyi, your pants are on fire

Dating is trench warfare.

This post has been long in the making, mostly because I am constantly second guessing my theories on life, especially dating.  For entertainment's sake I've decided to just throw this up there anyway, whether or not it's a true principle.  It's just a theory, after all.  Now we just need to apply it to real life and see how well it holds true.

Dating.  It doesn't make sense.

There are merits to dating; such as cultivating healthy relationships, giving people time to really get to know each other and spend time together, so on and so forth.  But when it comes to the nitty gritty details of an individual's emotional welfare, dating can be a real battle.

First of all, I think we can all agree that there are two sides in this battle.  Boys vs. Girls.  All us men-folk camp out on our side of no-man's land, doing manly things all the time and wondering if this is all there is to life.  Women-folk are on their side, doing who knows what with their time and energy (how should I know, I'm in with the men, after all).  Every now and then some guy or girl builds up enough courage to single out someone they want to take out (on a date) and they charge across the barren fields of no-man's land.  Sometimes they make it.  Many times they're just gunned down in their tracks, except the only problem with this war is it won't kill you.  Then there is the long crawl dragging your broken self back to your side of the lines.  You patch yourself up, then start plotting your next line of attack.

Every once and a while, at times like Christmas or Easter, or even when the weather finally starts getting warmer again in the spring, relations tend to thaw a little bit.  Just like the old World War I soldiers, people will just climb out of their foxholes and meet up in the middle of the fields of war for a little party time.  Everyone should have at least one good friend of the opposite gender that they can just talk to--nothing more, nothing less.  Then afterwards they climb back into the trenches, and the next morning they're back at it again.

Of course there are many much more advanced tactics available than simply charging across the field, too.  I won't go into detail, but there certainly can be much debate over the effectiveness of spy planes, thickening your skin using personal armor of some type, or even area of effect weaponry such as mustard gas or grenades.  And, to be perfectly honest, I would not be surprised if this analogy only makes sense from the male perspective.  But there you are, from one shell-shocked young single adult to another, there's just one of the many thoughts that I've had run through my crazy brain in recent months.

Cartoon Politics

Life is so boring with people always being so serious.  Apparently the Apple app store banned an app from a pulitzer prize winning cartoonist recently.  His work is "too controversial" for them.  Turns out that Apple believes in communist style suppression of freedom of speech.  I say we send them to China where they belong; I mean, that's where all their iPods and stuff are made anyway.

Kudos to this cartoonist, though.  Here's some of his work:

Obama Interruptions

Comic of the Day

Website of the day

Created by none other than my very own cousin and his roommates...

Rockets vs. Lasers

I suppose you can see this as a tribute to the science side of my life.

Joke of the Day

A wildly unsuccessful young businessman came to the priest one day to confess.  He owed massive amounts of debt, his family life was in shambles, and had more than once considered suicide.  The priest tried to console him, and gave him the best advice that he could.

"Son, you need to do three things:  first find a calm beach, set out a chair, and sit in it.  Secondly, open your bible and let the wind blow the pages.  Lastly, when the pages have finally come to rest, look down and read the first thing you see.  This will have the answer to your problems."

Years later the man came back to the priest, happy, full of life, and now wildly successful.  The priest eagerly asked him what had happened.

"Did you go to the beach?"
"Yes."
"You opened the bible and let the wind blow the pages?"
"Yes, sir."
"And what did you read?"
"Chapter 11."

Notable Quote

"I'm not going to test you on e-agents...I don't really have any interest in computers, I don't really like them."

[baby cries in the back of the room]

"I didn't mean it...I didn't, I didn't mean to offend you younger generation people."

(Law professor)

Twenty-five

Is the number of years in a silver wedding anniversary.  It is also the minimum cut-off age for election to the House of Representatives, the atomic number for manganese, the minimum age to rent a car without a co-signor, the number of cents in a quarter, the customary TCP port for SMTP (the incoming email protocol), a freeway going between New Mexico and Wyoming, the size of a full major league baseball team roster, the number of points required to win a set in volleyball (under rally scoring rules), and a square number (which often appears in demonstrations of Pythagorean's theorem).

I'm glad that it is such an important number.

Notable Quote

"He would date, if he thought it would be a challenge."

(yours truly)

Truth

Pet Peeves

I'm starting to wonder if an added measure of tolerance should have been part of my New Year's resolutions this past round.  It seems that I can't really go more than a day or so without running into something else that irks me to the point that I wish I had ultimate authority to dole out punishments on the people around me.  I'm pretty sure that I'm not menstruating (since I'm a boy) so the only explanations are that either I am tired or people are consistently becoming more and more annoying in general.

For example, I hate it when people talk in quiet places.  Like study cubicles, for instance.  I also have an intense dislike of the average, haughty "I'm-going-to-take-over-the-world" attitude of BYU business students (especially MBA's and the like).  I especially dislike haughty business students that talk in quiet places, and I wish I could make them sit in the atrium of the Tanner building wearing dunce caps.

I've also learned that I dislike having roommates, in general.  If I'm going to have them, I might as well have only one and be married to them.  Everything about having roommates is inconvenient, except for the the fact that you can occasionally mooch food from them.  Unfortunately I am usually the one being mooched, so I don't even have that advantage.
One might argue that roommates provide stimulating conversation.  Experience has taught me that I don't really spend all that much time at home anyway. Honestly, I think I lose more by not having personal space and privacy than I gain by having a few extra chatterboxes around.  In addition to this, there seems to be an age old truism that states "where two or more man-beasts are assembled, there dirt and a general lack of cleanliness will be also."  Coming home to a sink full of reeking dishes, a bathroom filled with grime and a bedroom that stinks like last week's b.o. really puts a damper on life.

Another huge category for me is driving.  Pet peeves when it comes to driving are really not all that hard to maintain in the state of Utah, I've decided.  At least drivers in other regions are either consistently bad or horrible.  Utahans (or at least, drivers in Provo coming from all over the country and the world) are anything but consistent.  Some people will risk their first born children to get into the turning lane before you on eighth north.  Others might as well be dead, because at the rate they are moving they probably will never get where they are trying to go in this life.  Either way, it seems that there is a serious lack of education about how to use turn signals.
Not only the manner of driving, but the vehicles themselves often cause me consternation.  Unless a truck is being used for something to do with manual labor, I see it as a waste and wish I could have them all cleared from the roads and replaced with something that won't block my view of signs, traffic lights, and the horizon.  Unless there is a ladder, equipment, or some sort of rubble or something loaded in the back, I seem to catch myself instantly judging people driving trucks, SUVs and other such vehicles as selfish brats hogging up the road, pushing and shoving their way around...and blocking my view.  I honestly didn't sign up to come down to earth just to stare at the back of your F150.

Moving on, eating is one of those disgusting, nasty habits that I'm deathly afraid will still exist after this life.  It really slows you down when you don't do it, and in general feels like a huge waste of time and money.  Think about all the hundreds of dollars you've poured, chewed and slurped down your greedy throats already this year.  Now think about my poor ears having to listen to it all.  Even more than the inefficiency of having to eat, I detest hearing other people in the process of eating.  Part of my daily waking ritual is to have breakfast alone, before anyone else is awake.  If others are already awake, I skip breakfast.  There are almost no words for how much I do not enjoy listening to the various ways that people slurp, crunch, drink or otherwise consume breakfast cereals.

In short, I think I might actually be a bitter little man.  I hate to think about what I'll be like when I'm old and cranky, too...

Notable Quote

"Hey guys, cupcakes on me..."

"That's what they do at bars!"

"A cupcake bar!"

(yours truly & Wouldn'tYouLikeToKnow...)

Notable Quote

"I'd be an awesome wife, I won't lie."
(Chris)

In honor of the new semester

Back to school...for a semester.

It is a strange feeling to come back from the Christmas holiday and suddenly realize that this is it.  Next time that school lets out, it will be completely over for me (at least until I realize that I probably do need some sort of Master's degree.)

I just took my little brother out to the grocery store earlier, and as I perused the store buying the few items that I need to stay alive for the next week or so, got to thinking about the finality of each experience I'm having just as a new year is beginning.  It is somewhat of a sobering thought.

I must say that I have enjoyed the part of life that I have spent out here in Utah so far, and I am excited to see how it will end.  I still have another four months here :)